FOMO: Overcoming the Fear of Missing Out

In the world of social media where the desire we have for validation and belonging has become stronger and louder, many people are starting to experience a strange, uncomfortable sensation called The Fear of Missing Out or FOMO. 

This phenomenon is made up of emotions such as anxiety, envy and dissatisfaction and usually happens as a result of comparing oneself to others or generally feeling left out. Low self-esteem and harbouring feelings of inadequacy can also increase the likelihood of experiencing it. Whilst FOMO is not a diagnosable condition, the experience has been associated with increased anxiety, depression and substance abuse. Therefore, learning how to overcome this fear can be crucial for reducing suffering and regaining control in one’s life. 

At some point in our lives, we have all felt left out, be that at school, amongst work colleagues, or during university. Feeling left out may have made us question our worth, whether we are good enough to have friends, whether we are interesting or attractive enough. Often, our self-confidence and ability to express ourselves can become impacted by being left out as well. 

There are three main ways of coping with FOMO including acknowledging and coping with the emotions that are coming up, reducing our tendency to socially compare, addressing our regret, and cultivating contentment. 

Coping with Emotions:

Individuals struggling with FOMO often experience a range of emotions, including anxiety, envy, and dissatisfaction. Sometimes, feeling left out can even be associated with shame for being lonely or feeling as if you’re not enough in some way. It is important to remind yourself that there is no shame in feeling this way. We as humans are social creatures, and when our needs and desires are not met, it is natural to feel uncomfortable. Acknowledging these feelings and identifying the source of your envy or dissatisfaction can help move forward and let the feelings go.

Social Comparison:

In the age of social media, feelings of FOMO can become exacerbated by scrolling through idealized images and accomplishments which trigger feelings of inadequacy. Social media can present curated versions of others' lives, leading to unrealistic standards and distorted perceptions of reality, along with a forced reliance on external validation. We can cope with social comparison by limiting our exposure to triggering content, cultivating a healthier relationship with social media, and reframing comparison as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. In particular, developing authentic connections, both online and offline, and focusing on genuine relationships can help mitigate the negative effects of social comparison.

Fear of Regret:

The fear of making the wrong choices or missing out on opportunities can paralyze individuals, preventing them from fully engaging in their present experiences and pursuing their passions. This fear of regret often stems from a desire to conform to societal expectations or live up to external standards of success. Coping with the fear of regret involves embracing uncertainty and prioritizing personal fulfilment over external validation. By reframing failure as a natural part of the learning process, we can rediscover our sense of autonomy and power, moving forward from our mistakes and missed opportunities. 

Cultivating Contentment:

Contentment is difficult, and yet it is essential to find it in our present moment to attain a more fulfilling life. Overcoming FOMO includes embracing our imperfection and finding a way to appreciate what we have and express gratitude for it. It is extremely difficult to shift our focus from external validation to internal fulfilment however, this is possible by celebrating our personal achievements, nurturing meaningful connections and searching for experiences which feel warm and fulfilling to you. Nurturing this sense of contentment can be the key to transcending FOMO. 

Ultimately, overcoming FOMO requires self-awareness, resilience, and a willingness to challenge societal norms and expectations. We can acknowledge the impact of FOMO on our lives, validate our emotions in response to it and refocusing on building fulfilment and authentic connection in our lives. If you are struggling with FOMO and could use support in navigating these challenges, know that you are not alone.