Handling Overstimulation in ADHD

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting refers to ending a relationship by ignoring and stopping all communication methods with the person. This is often seen through technology, like leaving the other person “seen” in messaging apps, not responding to phone calls, unfollowing or blocking from social media and refusing to communicate with them further. Unlike other relationship diffusions, ghosting occurs without the other person knowing, leaving the individual feeling left out and unable to understand or manage the situation alone.

Ghosting Behaviours

Ghosting is normally due to the lack of communication, which results in the lack of formal closure of the relationship. It has frequently been observed that ghosting dissolution strategies were seen more in short-term than long-term relationships. These behaviours are often related to online meetings or dating apps and how much time one spends on dating apps. Though it is experienced more often in short-term relationships rather than long-term relationships, this does not mean it cannot occur in both.

Social Media’s Role in Ghosting

Social media allows individuals to create extensive social networks and friendships, but this does not mean that all online relationships are as strong and as deep as real ones. Since they are in a digital environment, less depth and connections are formed, leading to lower satisfaction and loneliness in life and social interactions than in real relationships. Due to this, the quality of relationships is important to ensure happiness and long-lasting relationships, as these are the best for an individual to maintain healthy and stable overall mental health. Poor-quality relationships are the exact opposite, as they have been found to lead to negative emotions like anger, depression and psychological distress.

Emotional Impact of Ghosting

Experts say that emotional distress from ghosting is similar to that of break-ups. This leads to feelings of rejection, meaninglessness and confusion, and some individuals were more likely to report elevated levels of anxiety and decreased self-esteem, as well as elevated heart rate as a result of simulated ghosting. 

When someone gets ghosted, they often have self-doubting questions like why they became a victim of it? Why did they stop communicating? Did they do something wrong? These questions arise as the individual is left without clear answers and often lead to questioning the relationship and their self-worth. Therefore, as being ghosted by a past relationship partner or friend can bring about negative results on mental health, research highlights the crucial steps to overcome these feelings and help cope and heal:

• Closure
  This can be achieved by seeking information from the other person. It may be done by sending the person a respectful and short message confirming whether they are not interested in conversing anymore with you. An indirect way of this may be looking over social media and mutuals without becoming attached to their accounts, which could cause additional obsessions.

• Self Reflection
  Reflecting on past relationships and re-evaluating the relationship in terms of whether there were any signs of distance between you and them. This way, self-reflection can be beneficial in understanding your emotions, processing the ghosting experience, and understanding the problem that may have led to ghosting.

• Support
  Seeking support from relatives like close family members or friends by discussing your experiences. Connecting with counsellors or psychologists at mental health centres or platforms like Mintea is a way to seek professional help from certified individuals like psychologists or therapists who are knowledgeable about ghosting experiences and how to cope and deal with them, enabling you to experience ease and help you know that you are not alone through therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

• Engaging Socially
  Engaging yourself in social activities or creative hobbies like journalling, going for walks, drawing, and painting can help you destress and reduce anxiousness related to past experiences. Another way is to socialise by stepping out of your comfort zone and finding new friends to help you through your healing journey. This can benefit you as it fosters new connections and reminds you of your worth beyond the experience.

If you or someone you know has struggled with a ghosting experience, it is important to know that you are not alone.